Sunday, August 17, 2008

Y-Speak

Not being myself
By Ally V. Munda/ Bubble thoughts

AN EXCURSION into the darkness, the unknown, only to find out that here is nothing. Where you thought there would be magic or colors or even treasure, there was nothing. Nothingness as dark as it was before you knew the truth, but with not a bit of intrigue to it left. The way you explore, the way you search, for some fragment of proof to a mystery just destroy everything. The façade of innocence or beauty is as easily broken as it is to imagine it. To know diminishes the bit of magic you once thought of the world. Determination to know is like killing all mysteries in one bloody, violent and senseless riot against ignorance. It makes life better, right? But thinking that some bit of the world is unexplainable is what keeps me going. Some idiotic belief and hope that science will fail and leave the little bit of life yet unexplored that way.

Untouched.

This may not happen. That barely-there portion of reality termed, for now, as 'unexplained' could disappear any time now into the giant file of proved facts and observed, tested, collected data. As could whatever dreams and wishes we have. Everything could be proved, explained and robbed of it's magic! Thankfully, we still have death.

That one little nook of our universe is, and hopefully will remain, unexplained. No one knows what happens when we die. When the cold hand on death seizes our souls and rags us away from this world. Religion tries to explain it. Science tries to explain it. Anyone can try to explain it. Ultimately, we all fail. Fail in the sense that everyone believes no one's answer. It's more of a personal belief. Happily enough, this little belief still contains a bit of wonder for me. Same goes for the matter of the Beginning.

Strange, isn't it; how the two greatest debates and mysteries of this modern world we live in are the Beginning and Death?

I really think it's a shame; humans were created quite wonderfully, one way or another, but we are so peculiar. We are so special. Look at our bodies. Our hands, for example, are one of the most bizarre things in the world to me. Why do we only have them? Argue as you might that some apes have hands almost like ours; you must remember your argument. Almost like ours. The difference between almost and exactly is more than you'd think. Despite what science suggests, we are nothing like other things or creatures that walk and thrive on this Earth. Sure, some things might be similar, but nothing looks like 'us'. Nor is anything so disgusting, vile, polluting and shameful as a human being.

We abuse this beautiful planet of ours. Or should I say once beautiful? The beauty you see now in buildings and trees are all lies. So thick is our spell of disease on this world that it's tainted our vision of it. This place is dying. And what's worse is that humans tend to blame others for our actions. Responsibility is becoming an obsolete word. It's rarely applied to things. We should leave whatever bit of real beauty Earth has left untouched -- we'd just abuse it.

Excuse me, I'm feeling quite unlike myself today. Everything I look at is coated in a dark coat of bitterness. It really isn't like me, I swear!

And... ah. I seem to have lost my train of thought. Distraction has blown out the candle of motivation in me. Motivation to write, though I'm not even sure I'm making sense. I try to draw inspiration from what's around me, but it's hard. Bordering impossible, even. This world is such an ugly place.

*****

Ally, 13, is a second year high school student. Ally's her nickname, but she pleaded to use this instead of her real name, which Sun.Star has been using for the first two articles that she wrote.

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